Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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