Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
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