I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize