Will you blow on my dice?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
