Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
