I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
We named our party play list daddy issues
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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