actually, I'm a sock model
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
