bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
