Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
