If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
