Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
