Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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