We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
