so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
i believe in u and ur pee
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
