he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Randomize