Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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