Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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