i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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