This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
