I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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