we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
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