id be glad to
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
