She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
