I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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