i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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