i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
