if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
