Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Randomize
