So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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