wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
