Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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