hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
