it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
