New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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