Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
