the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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