We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
