Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize
