you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
