My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
