The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize