I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
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