Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
