sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
how does that bad decision feel?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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