could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
