ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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