Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
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