omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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