Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
