remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
