she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
