My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
