can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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