his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
