I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
