I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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